Where did you come from?

Here is a resume I don't update anymore.


I have an awesome idea for a painting! Want to hear it?

No.


Can I pay you to paint something for me?

No. I used to do commissions, but I'm no longer taking them. I'll sometimes consider commercial illustration work, though.


How come you haven't been sued?

I dunno. Probably because I don't defame anyone, and most of what I've done includes some transformative element, which is what these things usually come down to: Are you copying something you've seen, or transforming it and creating new content? Are you merely drawing a picture of Nicolas Cage, or making commentary about the role of Nicolas Cage in society?


I want to be an artist too! What advice do you have for me?

Don't move to an expensive city after you graduate and then stop making art because you suddenly need five jobs just to stay alive. Beyond that, find a comfortable physical & mental working environment and a solid peer group. Don't blindly follow the advice of galleries, because most of the time they don't know what they're doing any more than you do (sorry, gallery owners!). Also, it will take time (as in, years) to figure out your audience and the economics of things (For example, do you sell lots of inexpensive things, or giant paintings for thousands of dollars?). And what you think is going to be your big break probably isn't. For me, it's been a lot of little things eventually adding up.

For lots of specific, practical advice, I can recommend this book.


Can I be your Facebook friend?

Okay, but don't be a weirdo.


Twitter?!

Eh, fine.


Walken is building Optimus Prime, right?

It's C-3PO wearing a BMX chest protector with a head based on Hoist. Why would you even think that??


I have a question about merchandise or shipping!

Visit the Shipping FAQ. If you have more questions about anything, just e-mail me, brandonbird@gmail.com.